Alcohol
For better or worse Christmas is often overshadowed with alcohol and it can be a source of suffering, misunderstanding, labelling, comparison and shame which is in no means conducive to a meaningful or productive life.
No shame; this is bigger than us!
One can feel that one uses alcohol in a way that is not befitting and subsequently shame themselves ultimately only serving to fog up our rational capacities and impeding a comprehensive solution. Remember that lcohol is everywhere!
Culture; song lyrics, films, events and traditions are synonymous with alcohol
Highly weaponized advertising campaigns powered by data, AI and a virtually bottomless budget knows us well and targets us.
Social cues and intergenerational patterns obfuscate clear thinking and sometimes make our auto-pilot stronger than our willpower.
Poor infrastructure and alternative social spaces often makes alcohol is one of few options: (also our lovely weather here in Ireland).
So let’s look at some fallacious thinking and effective tools!....
Antiquated scripts
I would like to start with some myths and misconceptions that muddy up the discussion and prevent people from getting a more pragmatic sense of what healthy drinking looks like to them
If you have a relationship with alcohol that’s not ideal you must be an Alcoholic (pathological label)
Alcoholism is genetic, I must be cursed with it.
It’s bad to drink on your own, but it's always ok in a social setting
Ah sure it’s ok to have a few too many pints, we’re just out in the pub at a social gathering
Value judgements, wine is ok, spirits are dangerous
I’m a bloke I should be able to handle a good few pints
I’m a woman I should really be ashamed if I enjoy to drink even if in moderation
If I have a problem with drink it means I must quit completely and forever
Alcohol is my source of confidence or ability to perform in situations
I will not enjoy my life if I quit alcohol
ad infinitum and ad nauseum..........
Knowledge is power
In my opinion, knowledge is power, instead of applying a shallow and unilateral label to oneself as having a drink problem, get #CuriousNotCritical and asks questions instead of chastising yourself
What times, situations or emotions make me feel like drinking?
Am I drinking to cover anxiety of social events or crowds?
Am I drinking to cover up my grief now that work and other events have quietened down leaving me to my thoughts?
Am I drinking due to relationship issues: family fights, being single is difficult or my relationship is in a tricky spot?
If I fall off of my plan, what causes it and what HELPS me stay on it?
Our moods, social circle, energy levels, circumstances all change, as does ones relationship with their outer world, so a rigid and punitive rule really does not respond to an interesting dynamic in a very effective way. It is just causes further shame and a negative cycle.
No half-measures
Regardless of what your perspective on your drinking is, objectively measuring it is an invaluable resource.
Using a diary, phone notes or online doc (or whatever suits) keep a record of how frequently you drink and on those given days how much you do drink (alcohol units).
Note how many days you drink
Check in and note your emotions before, during and following drinking
Gather bodily, somatic sensations around these situations
If you are not happy with what you find, then instead of shaming yourself, draw up what appropriate drinking likes like to you.
How many drinks is my max before it impedes my happiness
What days does it suit me?
What bodily sensations, thoughts or emotions might be driving my decisions?
What can I substitute for drinking if it’s tempting?
What triggers or people should I avoid?
Sober A.F.
There is a growing trend of people reducing, temporarily refraining or flat out quitting for reasons which are RIGHT FOR THEM, unfortunately others may involve themselves in an unsolicited manner. Remember,
only you get to live in your body
only you get to live in your mind
only you pay financially for what you consume
only yo pay the consequences of alcohol on your energy, plans and focus etc.
If people are criticising your moderation or abstinence (besides being poor form) I would bet this is a projection of their issue with your sovereignty and willingness to stand out from others bravely
People are resources
Remember all of the infrastructure, inventions, culture and various other human achievements, virtually all of them were done in collaboration. You are not an island! If this is hard you can reach out to have a trusted person, an accountability friend or indeed a therapist if needed. We are inherently connection driven beings, it can be game changing to reach out and ask for help and indeed, when the time is right be there for another!
Ultimately if YOU decide in an informed manner that you are going to drink X amount of alcohol or NONE and you’ve considered the various implications as an autonomous adult, then that is solely YOUR BUSINESS, or put in non-clinical terminology tell them to mind their own f*&!@^g business.
Some links which may be interesting
My posts on Urge surfing
and cost benefit analysis
Some facts, tools and free resource packs for alcohol
Al Anon (a resource for relatives of those with drinking issues)
Alcoholics Anonymous
Non drinking socials
An objective, empirical overview of alcohol
Some thoughts on alcohol advertising
#curiousnotcritical #alcohol #healthydrinking #addictioncounselling #costbenefitanalysis #urgesurfing #psychotherapy #counselling #dublin2 #southwilliamstreet #lyrictherapy #affirmativetherapy #drinkaware #alanon #alcoholicsanonymous
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